Lust or Love?

Proverbs 23:26-28 ESV

My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
For a prostitute is a deep pit;
an adulteress is a narrow well.
She lies in wait like a robber
and increases the traitors among mankind.

Sexual sin is at its peak in our day and time with the ease of access to pornography, sexually explicit or suggestive movies or TV shows, sex-texting, and extramarital affairs (both sexual and romantic) via social media sites, private chats, and men and women working so closely together.

What gives people the ease of access is smart phones, tablets (like I Pads), personal (laptop) computers, the internet, cable TV, Netflix, Satellite TV, video gaming, and the like. Anyone, including children, can access pornographic material with a touch of a finger from a device in their pockets in the privacy of their bedrooms, or even in a corner in a crowded room, or at their desks, with no one knowing and no one seeing but God.

And God does see, and he knows, even if no one else does. And, he is grieved when his children turn to these idols and to these prostitutes to meet what they feel are their needs, instead of them turning to the Lord to meet all their needs. And, he is grieved when his children are recipients of unfaithfulness and abuse at the hands of their spouses, too. He sees their tears and he hears their heart cries, and he wants them to know that he cares, and that he is with them, and that he will see them through it all.

Give Me Your Heart

The remedy for sexual sin is the same as it is for all sin. We need to give our hearts completely to Jesus Christ, and we must yield to his Lordship over our lives. As long as we try to run our lives our way, and as long as we maintain control, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Faith in Jesus Christ means surrender to Jesus Christ, doing things His way, not our way. Thus, we must follow the teachings of scripture which teach us how to overcome sin.

First of all, we have to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ, and that comes from putting our faith and trust in Him. When this happens, by the Spirit, we are crucified with Christ in death to sin, and we are resurrected with Christ to newness of life in Christ, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Rom. 6:1-23; Eph. 4:17-24).

Jesus Christ, through his death and resurrection, conquered sin by putting it to death and by rising victorious over it. Thus, he made the way for us to be free from our sinful addictions, and free to walk in his righteousness – all in his power, wisdom and strength. We just have to take the way out he provided for us. We have to yield to him, do what he says, cut out of our lives what is leading us into sin, stop doing what we know is wrong, and start doing what we know is right, as He enables us to do so.

A Deep Pit

Sexual sin is a deep pit which will be very difficult for you to pull yourself out of if you fall into it. Sexual sin, just like alcohol and drugs, is highly addictive. It is extremely captivating. It surpasses all logic and reason or rationale. It takes over our minds and our emotions to where we don’t think straight, and we will do what we know is wrong regardless of the cost to our own lives or to the lives of others, in particular to those closest to us.

Many people have this idea that they need to be “in love,” in the sense of having butterflies in their stomachs, and romance, and some kind of emotional high that makes them tingle all over. But, that is just infatuation or it is lust, but it is not love. And, it is fleeting, too. Yet, many people feel they need that emotional high, like a drug, and so they go looking for it in the wrong places, and thus they end up on porn sites or having extramarital affairs or the like. But, they are drinking from broken cisterns (Jer. 2:13).

Because so many people have fallen into this pit, and I was there at one time, too, so I speak from experience, families are being destroyed, marriages are broken, and children and spouses are being abused, betrayed, taken advantage of and abandoned left and right.

So, hearts need to be healed, and the addict needs to be delivered, and marriages and families restored. And, all this is possible. But, we must be willing to allow the Lord Jesus Christ to have full reign in our lives. The sex addict must be willing to make the necessary cuts in order to be free from his or her chains. And, the betrayed spouse must be willing to forgive and to restore his or her unfaithful spouse. But, restoration can only take place where the adulterers repent of their sin and choose their spouses and their Lord over their addictions. Otherwise, restoration is not possible.

Lust or Love?

Sensual lust is based in the flesh. It is selfish. It seeks after self-pleasure. It wants what it wants, oftentimes no matter who gets hurt in the process. It is ruled by the flesh, not by the Spirit.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I know God created us to have sexual desire toward the opposite sex in the context of a marital relationship. And, that is a good thing if it is kept within the marriage, between husband and wife, and if it is ruled by love, and not by lust.

The sexual relationship between a husband and wife is not just for the purpose to procreate or to satisfy the hunger for sexual intercourse. It is for the purpose of intimacy (physical, emotional and spiritual), as well. It should be a time when the couple shows genuine love and care for one another. And, it should be a safe place, too, and undefiled.

But, when one or the other is unfaithful in the marital relationship, and especially if this is ongoing, and one or the other continues in sexual sin and adultery and is unwilling to repent, i.e. to leave the sin behind, and to be faithful from this moment forward, then it breaks that bond of intimacy, and for the betrayed spouse, the marriage bed is no longer a safe place.

Love, on the other hand, does no harm to another, nor does it take advantage of others, nor is it selfish and thinking only about satisfying its own flesh. Godlike love also prefers what God prefers, which is what is holy, righteous, pure, honest, upright, and moral, etc.

So, if you are cheating on your spouse via porn, private chats, masturbation, lusting after others, and/or extramarital affairs, etc., then don’t tell your spouse that you love him or her, because that is a lie. And, if you are cheating on your spouse, don’t lie about it or make excuses for it or blame your spouse. You only have yourself to blame. And, tell the truth.

So, if you are the adulterer, then you need to repent of your sin, be honest with God and your spouse, and choose today to be faithful and to love your spouse as God loves you. But, don’t just say it, do it! God will give you all you need to change, but you have to cooperate with God, and yield to the Lordship of Christ over your life. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to rid your life of your sexual addiction and to be faithful to your spouse and to treat him or her with honor, value, respect and Godlike love.

And, if you are the one who has been adulterated against, betrayed, abused, taken advantage of, hurt, and abandoned, then know that your Lord is there to comfort, heal, encourage, strengthen and guide you in the way he would have you go. He will give you the courage to keep pressing on, and to keep loving and forgiving. So, don’t be afraid. Put your trust fully in the Lord, and believe that he is completely sovereign over your life, and that he will see you through this, and he will show you what to do each step of the way.

Wherever you are in this, give Jesus Christ your life and live in His love!

Your Lord is with You
An Original Work / August 14, 2016

Based off Various Scriptures

Fear not for your Lord is with you.
He will not leave you, nor will He abandon you.
When you walk through valleys of life’s rough ways,
You must fear no evil, for God is near.
Be of courage, then, and be not dismayed,
For your Lord is with you throughout your days.
Fear not for your Lord is with you.
He will not leave you, nor will He abandon you.

Trust Him with your life and witness.
He’ll go before you, and He will prepare the way.
The Lord is our helper, so we’ll not fear.
He will strengthen us. He sees all our tears.
Do not be afraid, but to God do pray,
And the peace of God will be yours today.
Trust Him with your life and witness.
He’ll go before you, and He will prepare the way.

My God, He is my Rock and my Shield
And the Horn of my salvation, whom I praise.
He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
Drew me out of waters so deep I’d sink.
My God turned my darkness into His light;
Opened up my blinded eyes, gave me sight.
My God, He is my Rock and my Shield
And the Horn of my salvation, whom I praise.

Friday, June 15, 2018 – Thank You, Lord, for this teaching from Your Word. May we all surrender our all to You today, and live in Your love. Amen!


2 thoughts on “Lust or Love?

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