This is a repost of something that was written and posted in June of this year, but I have added some things to it and have done some editing.
Matthew 19:3-6 ESV
“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’.”
Definitions of words related to divorce and separation:
Divorce – disconnect, distance, detach; separate or dissociate (something) from something else. Separate – single, unconnected, independent, divide. Also, a legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.
Adultery – The voluntary sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than the offender’s spouse; marital infidelity. Infidelity – unfaithfulness, disloyalty, betrayal, cheating. Adulterate – “to render something poorer in quality by adding another substance.”
Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28 ESV).
“Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Corinthians 6:16 ESV).
Putting it All Together
Now I want to put that all together. Yes, a divorce, in legal terms, is the dissolution of a marriage. But it also means to separate, as is evident in this passage in Matthew 19. So, instead of the two people (husband and wife) becoming one flesh, they are separated. They are no longer one flesh, but two, if they even ever became one flesh at all. For some people cheat on their spouses while they are still in the engagement period before the wedding, and so they are already one flesh with another.
So, if one spouse or the other was never faithful to the other, but continually committed adultery against the other, then the one committing the adultery joined flesh to flesh with others, either in mind only and/or in actual physical relations. So that person never became one flesh with the other spouse. Or, if at some point in the marriage one or the other joined sexually in person and/or in mind only with another, then the offending spouse became one flesh with another.
Now, you may think this is a stretch, but please pay attention to the meanings of these words. For to separate is not just a physical parting of one spouse to another location separate from the other. If one spouse is continually living in adultery against the other, that spouse is living in separation from the other. The offending spouse is not one flesh with the other because he/she is joined together with so many others (or just with one other, or with oneself).
For, as Jesus pointed out, adultery is not just physical, but it is also mental as well as it is a heart issue. For Jesus stated that the adultery took place in the heart. And so the heart needs to be cleansed and changed. And adultery can be spiritual, too, for Jesus and the apostles spoke of the church or individual Christians living in adultery against the Lord. And what did they do to be in adultery against the Lord? They were unfaithful to their marriage to Christ and they went after other gods to serve them. That says a lot.
For, becoming “one flesh” is not just about a sexual union. If we become one with our spouse (and/or with God), we are united in heart and mind with the other. Now, in relation to husband and wife, this does not mean that the two will be like the same person. They will each be who they are individually, and they aren’t going to think alike in all areas, either, but they are to work together to be united together in heart and mind, and to not work against the other unless the other is living in sin. We cannot unite with sin.
When one spouse decides to separate from the other by committing adultery (which includes all ways which involve lusting after another, even after one’s own self), then that breaks that bond of marriage in two. It is separating from the other spouse in body, mind, and heart, and it is joining to another in body, mind, and/or heart. And then when you add lies on top of that, and willful deception, and hiding what one is doing in secret from the other, that again is separating from one’s spouse and being joined to another.
So, you and your spouse may still be legally joined together as husband and wife but you may be living as separate individuals because one or the other or both are living in betrayal and adultery against the other. And the only way that the marriage is going to be restored is if the unfaithful spouse comes totally clean and refuses to return to the adulterous ways and chooses now to be totally faithful and committed to the neglected spouse. For you can’t live in sexual immorality and not break the bonds of marriage.
And if you are professing to be a Christian and you are living in adultery against your spouse because of your sexual addiction and you lusting after others to whom you are not married or because you are engaged in sexual activity outside your marriage relationship, please know what the Scriptures teach on that. So, first of all you need to turn from that sin (repent) and confess your sin to your spouse, and you must then walk in faithfulness from this point forward. For if you continue in sin and do not repent you will not inherit eternal life with God no matter what you profess with your lips.
[Matt 7:21-23; Matt 24:9-14; Lu 9:23-26; Rom 1:18-32; Rom 2:6-8; Rom 6:1-23; Rom 8:1-14,24; Rom 12:1-2; Rom 13:11; 1 Co 6:9-10,19-20; 2 Co 5:10,15,21; 1 Co 1:18; 1 Co 15:1-2; 2 Tim 1:8-9; Heb 9:28; 1 Pet 1:5; Gal 5:16-21; Gal 6:7-8; Eph 2:8-10; Eph 4:17-32; Eph 5:3-6; Col 1:21-23; Col 3:5-17; 1 Pet 2:24; Tit 2:11-14; 1 Jn 1:5-9; 1 Jn 2:3-6,24-25; 1 Jn 3:4-10; Heb 3:6,14-15; Heb 10:23-31; Heb 12:1-2; Rev 21:8,27; Rev 22:14-15]
An Original Work / August 29, 2018
Your bond is broken
With your Lord and Savior
And your testimony is
Separate from Him.
Your words not matching
Your actions today.
Repent of your sin and
Bow down and pray.
Live what you testify
In truth always.
Purity’s lacking in
Your life and witness,
For you profess one thing,
But other you do.
Not moral, spiritual.
Still of the flesh.
Not living in truth to
What you confess.
Lying about it
Puts you in a mess.
Living a lie is your practice,
‘tis true of you.
Masquerade righteousness –
None of it true.
Your heart is not given
To your Lord God.
Because of how you live,
You are a fraud.
Turn from your sin and
Give your life to God.