Chap 17: On Your Behalf

I Married My Dad

 Chapter Seventeen

 On Your Behalf

 January 22, 2018

For this reason I, Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus on behalf of you Gentiles— assuming that you have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace that was given to me for you, how the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I have written briefly. When you read this, you can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit. This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. Eph. 3:1-6 ESV

All of us who are believers in Jesus Christ have been given gifts of the Holy Spirit, and we have each been given specific assignments by God, which we are to fulfill. But, we don’t all have the same gifts, and we don’t all have the same assignments.

For example, back in 2004, the Lord Jesus called me to write down what he teaches me through his word, and to place it on the internet, so that the internet (the herald) could Run With It (See: Hab. 2:2-3). He called me to be a messenger, primarily to the church here in America, I believe, to expose lies and deceptions, to teach what is biblical truth, and to confront sinful practices, idolatry, and spiritual adultery within the church, as well as to call for repentance and obedience to Christ, and to his Word (1).

And, then, in 2011, he gave me another gift, the gift of writing songs. He would put the tunes in my head, which I would then record, and then I would pray for words, and then he poured the words into my mind. Then, I recorded the words with the tunes, and I would sing the songs, too, so that people could hear what they sounded like. The last one he gave me to write was in 2016, but that does not mean he won’t give me more. And, he often uses these songs with the devotions he gives me to write each day, so they go hand-in-hand (2).

Then, just a few weeks ago, he led me to write a book about my life, most specifically regarding the years I have been married to my husband, but also including a little bit of my life prior to my marriage of 45 years. It is a story of abuse, betrayal, adultery, faithfulness, a Christian walk, Christian service, obedience, and commitment, and it is also a story of hope, healing, deliverance, grace, mercy, compassion, forgiveness and restoration (3).

Yet, whether writing out my devotions, or writing a song, or writing a book, the gift the Lord has given me and the assignment he has given me is writing, and it is writing his messages, and these writings are for you and for me, to encourage us, to light a fire under us, to spur us on to love and good deeds, to give us hope, and so that we may know there is healing for our wounded hearts and deliverance from our sinful conditions through Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Savior. By his stripes we are healed. Amen!

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory. Eph. 3:7-13 ESV

When I read here about Paul being the “very least” of all the saints, but yet he was given this grace to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ, it brought this passage of scripture to mind:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 1 Co. 1:26-29 ESV

I can definitely relate! I grew up in a poor family, abused by my father and emotionally neglected by my mother. I was not regarded as worth much to anyone, I don’t think. I didn’t think I was very smart or that I had the ability to learn much. I really struggled to learn much of anything. And, then I married a man much like my dad who was sexually addicted from even before I met him, although I did not know that when I married him. And, we have had a difficult marriage because of his addiction, so I have gone through much hardship, pain and suffering from my husband, too.

In the church I also was not regarded as much. One pastor was threatened by the wisdom God was giving me, and he told me, in my early 30s, to wait until I had gray hairs on my head, and then people would listen to me. And, here I am 68 years old, and I still have most of my black hair. And, then there were other church leaders who were abusive, disregarding of and dismissal of me, who were all too anxious to just throw me to the curb rather than to be bothered with me. One of them told me that he was warned against people like me – people with strong convictions – and that he was to encourage me to go someplace else where I would be a “better fit,” he said, and he even offered to help me find such a place.

Yet, God had use of me, for this calling on my life was what he had prepared for me from before the creation of the world. And, he allowed me to go through all of that abuse, rejection, and persecution throughout my life to prepare me for this ministry, for what he was going to have me write about. I can write passionately about a lot of these subjects because I have lived in these situations on one end or another. So, I can speak from experience, and from a heart that has lived it, feels it, and cares deeply about it.

Yet, I struggled with this calling, even before 2004, and this present ministry, when I knew this was God’s calling on my life, because I kept getting rejected over and over and over again, because I was a woman. But, then the Lord spoke to me through Luke 7:36-50, regarding the woman who wet Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. A Pharisee criticized the woman and looked down on her, but Jesus honored her with his words.

Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Vv. 44-47

What the Lord said to me at that moment is that he called me, a despised woman, rejected of men, to this ministry, because the men, who were supposed to be doing this, were not doing it. And, now he is paralleling for me the three things she did for him that they did not do, but should have done, with the three assignments the Lord Jesus gave me listed above in this writing and linked to below. Wow! Glory to God! All praise to Him!

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph. 3:14-19 ESV

Amen, Amen and Amen! Oh, the riches of his grace to you and to me!

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Eph. 3:20-21 ESV

Abide With Me / Henry F. Lyte / William H. Monk

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Monday, January 22, 2018, 2:16 a.m. – Thank you, Jesus, for this testimony of your love and grace in my life, the life of your servant and witness Sue.


12 thoughts on “Chap 17: On Your Behalf

  1. Wow! Amazing!
    I am one of the many people I am sure who is touched by the Lord to grow more in Him and obey Him day by day through your writings.
    I have also downloaded this book and I have shared it to my friend in our prayer group. She loves your book and found it as a source of encouragement too. We were delighted to learn that in one chapter, we were struck with the same learning. It was a good time of sharing.

    Thank you for blessing the world with your writings; for doing what Jesus meant you to do. May your blog and book touch more lives and bring the truth with His power that more lives will be changed in obedience to Jesus and for His glory!

    Take care always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rahjomuelvin, thank you so much. All glory to God. Thank you for this encouragement here that you gave to me. God is using you, too, to encourage my heart. He is blessing me through you. This is how the body of Christ is to work, each of us using the gifts God has given to us for the building up of the body of Christ. So, thank you for being here and for encouraging me. God bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Sue, I woke up around 1:30 A.M., for some unknown reason, and have just spent the last two hours going through all of the chapters of this book you wrote. That wasn’t my original intent, but one chapter led to another . . . and another etc, and here I am. You’re an incredible person, and I came away from reading all of these chapters together, at one time, with deeper insight, appreciation and understanding, of you, and what you have gone through, and more importantly, what you have learned during this ongoing process. I was really glad to hear, that the Pastor who indicated to you, that you had not died unto Christ, turned his thinking around and responded to you in truth. I, like him, now understand the focus points you sometimes stress, a little better. Somehow, reading what you have shared, made you a little more dearer to my heart, than before, like a sister that I could easily embrace (hug), that I would indeed, want to embrace; because I can see and know what Jesus has and is, accomplishing in you. Our stories are different and yet the same, in a number of ways. God’s grace is amazing; when all is said and done. The true focal point, beyond all focus points, is Jesus, and the grace and mercy He brings, into these lives that He has given us. The fruit of Jesus, working in you, is self-evident, and the ownership of Jesus, is all over you. I know beyond a doubt, that you are dear to His heart. You’re right, none of us have reached perfection, that day is coming, when we shall be totally complete in Him, but in the interim, we are to give recognition and honour to those to whom it is due, and that would be you. You are a dear sister in the Lord, Sue, and I thank you for sharing from your heart. May our gracious Lord continue to bless you and yours with His grace, peace and daily guidance. Love in Christ – Bruce

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce, thank you so much. All glory to God. Today is a busy day so I will respond more in depth later on today or tomorrow, as soon as I have the time free. I hope you are doing well. Sue

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Bruce, thank you for all that you shared here. It blessed my heart. I also shared it with Rick, and he, as well, expressed appreciation for what you shared. And again, all the glory goes to God for what he has done in and through my life for his purposes and for his glory and honor and praise.

      So, one of the ways the Lord directs me in what he wants me to write on each day is that he allows conversations to take place, or particular circumstances to happen, and such was the case this morning. I had just begun to read your comment to me when Rick shared with me about some things he was researching, having to do with a particular location where we had previously lived, and then I read to him what you wrote to me.

      Well, I have a list of Scriptures that I teach cyclically, and as I went to find out the next Scripture, the Lord directed me to teach on Matthew 10 today, on the words of Jesus when he talked about how he came to turn family members against each other. And of course that fit perfectly with what you were sharing with me, and so I ended up writing somewhat on that subject in the writing “The School of Hard Knocks.” So, just so you know, you were a divine appointment in my life today. And I do hope and pray you are seeing better days than you were there for a while. Love to you and your wife – Sue

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Sue, you mentioned my comment being a divine appointment. Yes, I believe it was, because as I was reading through the chapters of your book, the totality of what you have endured and the conviction of what you have learned and often stress, was impressed upon my heart, and I knew that I had to let you know of the magnitude of what God has accomplished in and through you, from my heart to yours. It was like God telling me, Sue is my cherished daughter and I want you (Bruce) to let her know, from my heart (God’s) to Sue, the love I have for her and that she is My work. It had to do with recognition for you. So I followed God’s leading and with God’s help, I crafted the response and was glad to do so. I don’t normally get up at 1:30 in the morning. Nor do I normally read someone’s blog for a couple of hours, after getting up. And there was a personal message there for me also, with regard to understanding why you see certain things as you do, much like why I see certain things as I do. And I needed to understand that and accept it, and I do. It’s not a matter of one being right or wrong, it’s perspective because of the path we have individually walked in. And that perspective you hold is to be honoured, so that is what I did. It is hard to put this into words but I trust you will know what I mean. Short story is, it is amazing that you are where you are and yes indeed, the glory goes to God.

        On a personal note, I was in a car accident a couple of weeks ago (a person crossed into my lane from a 90 degree angle and I had insufficient time to come to a stop. The air bags went off and my chest took quite a blow. God told me He would heal it and He has, but it took a couple of weeks. That coupled with the increasing ramifications of my wife’s dementia, it’s been difficult to say the least. But God is faithful and we are doing OK, day by day, trusting in Him. I haven’t read your post on “The School of Hard Knocks” yet, but I will. and I am looking forward to it.

        I think that about covers it, some glorious day, you and I and Rick shall meet, and the missing pieces will all be filled in. God richly bless you and yours, Sue. Love in Christ – Bruce

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Bruce, thank you so much for all of that. Thank you for listening to the Lord. That was indeed a divine appointment. What you shared here blessed my heart. It encouraged me immensely. I may write more later but that is all I have time to say right now other than this:

        I don’t know if you know this or not but the Lord has been having me do quite a few talk videos this past month, and there have been 5 to 6 a week the past few weeks, and I am getting more comfortable with it, for talking is not my strong suit. But I just wanted you to be aware of that in case you wanted to watch any of them. Here is the link to my YouTube page:


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